Escape
by Izobel
Summary: Sometimes sex and mockery isn’t enough to get you by, you just need time to escape. [MerAlex]
1. Escape

**Escape **

_Oneshot_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy**

* * *

Leaving the bar, his hand on her back, she pushed through the glass doors back out into the clear air of the late Thursday night. They both knew where this was heading, and what _this_ was, but that didn't mean she'd failed to notice his inconspicuous acknowledgement of the theatre nurse as he turned to help her with her coat. The older woman with dark brown hair, holding a small cocktail glass and taking minimum sips from its icy rim. Since when had Derek Shepard noticed any of the theatre nurses?

"Who was that?" Meredith asked, looking up at him as they waited to cross the road. The night breeze tousled his dark hair, and his eyes were glossy and deep in thought. He looked down at her adoringly, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Rose," he answered simply after a few moments, taking her hand as they crossed the road. Something burning stirred inside Meredith as she bit back the temptation to say something that could forever incriminate her incredible secret desire to be more than sex-buddies with Derek.

They reached his car in a few steps, and they drove to her house in a comfortable silence. Her thoughts were forgotten as his lips savaged hers all the way to the front door. He ran his fingers through her long hair, allowing them to trail on her back for a fleeting moment before moving back up to cup her cheek. She reached into her pocket to retrieve her key, pushing Derek away to unlock the front door. Just as she turned the lock, his phone beeped.

"Hospital?" Meredith asked as she watched him read the text message. He looked puzzled down at the piece of plastic in his hand. She looked over his palms at the screen,

Rose 

"Right." She said irately, opening the door with a thud. He looked up at her with a look of perplexity on his face.

"Meredith-…" he reasoned, but she pushed him away forcefully, causing him to stumble slightly.

"No. Go be with your _new girlfriend._" she said bluntly, stepping inside and slamming the door in his face and rushing upstairs. She slammed her bedroom door with a thud and noticed Derek's car drive off as she looked out the window. She threw off her shoes angrily, lying down on her bed staring up at the blank dark ceiling. Why was she feeling like this? Why was Derek so suddenly interested in Rose? _He wasn't going to wait for her anymore._

The thought made a wave of insecurity and loneliness rush over her, one she hadn't experienced before. She choked back a sob and continued to look up at the dark ceiling.

A moment later, she heard a knock at the door, and she watched as the light spread itself around the room with the warming light from the hallway.

"What's wrong with you?" Alex's husky voice came from the doorway. Meredith didn't even bother to look over at him. He closed the door behind him and moved into the room to sit on her bed.

"You're waking me up, and I have to be at the hospital at 6 tomorrow. You're pissing me off with this moody brooding thing," he said bluntly. Meredith groaned and sat up slightly.

"It's Derek. He's seeing someone else. A theatre nurse." She stated crankily. Alex groaned and lay back on the bed next to her. They lay in silence for a few moments, each lost in their own thoughts.

"I wouldn't normally do this, coz I'm not a chick," Alex said gruffly. "But spill it. You don't really have anyone to talk to these days with Yang off with Torres and O'Malley and _Izzie _getting their mack on at all hours."

Meredith laughed a little, turning her head to look at him. She noticed the silhouette of his toned body in the light from the streetlamp that shone through the window. He wore a simple white tank top and track pants.

"I love him. But I think he's interested in someone else." She sighed, falling back on her pillow. Alex didn't say anything, she wasn't sure if he was listening, but she didn't really care. She just wanted some company.

"You're too good for him." Alex stated, his hand finding her arm in the dark. His strong hands stroked her skin, lulling her into a sense of calm. "But he wouldn't leave you for someone else, and he would be an idiot too,"

Meredith closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying the sensations crawling through her body. His touch prickling her skin. She felt his weight shift on the bed as he rolled onto his side. She opened her eyes to see his eyes burning into hers. She smiled.

"I just want to forget everything," she murmured, staring up at him. His mouth cracked a wicked smile as his hand wandered down her side lightly. She could feel his hot breath on her lips, and the heat from his body radiating onto hers. Her heart was racing.

It wasn't the first time they'd done this, but every time felt like something incredible she hadn't experienced before. The way he touched her sent her to another place, and however many times she'd tried to convince herself it was so wrong, it felt the opposite. Her head was saying one thing, but her body was betraying her, each stroke was eliciting feelings from her she hadn't felt in a long time.

"Just pretend I'm not me," Alex murmured into her ear as he pressed her body down on hers. She allowed herself to succumb to his movement, knowing tomorrow they'd wake up, and it could be as though this had never happened. She shifted below him, finally letting the day slip away with every touch.


	2. Wake Up Break Up

**Wake Up... Break Up**

* * *

Her eyes opened slowly this morning. The alarm was quietly buzzing on the nightstand and she groaned, rolling over to switch it off and falling back onto the soft pillows behind her. She ran her fingers through her messy hair and looked over her shoulder.

He was gone, as he was every morning, leaving no evidence that he'd been there in the first place. The bed was neatened slightly on one side and his clothes were nowhere to be found. If anyone were to actually check, the only thing that would give away her disposition at night, it would be her lack of clothing, but she laughed softly as she highly doubted anyone would verify.

She pushed back the bed covers and threw on her dressing gown and walked into the bathroom, turning the faucets on the shower wall and letting the water and hot steam cascade out of the head. Removing her gown, she gracefully stepped underneath the spray, feeling its warmth beating against her back.

_Beat. Beat. Beat._

She closed her eyes, allowing the feeling and sounds win her over.

His hands were on her again, his lips grazing the soft skin of her neck and dip of her shoulder, she closed her eyes, moving her hands over his muscular back, her nails digging into his damp skin.

No words were exchanged. They didn't need to be. Neither of them was looking for something to come out of this, this was comfort with the bonus of pleasure and she was okay with that because he was Alex, and she was Meredith. They were verging on best friends without the sappy stuff that comes along with the title. They were like George and Izzie… people who could tell each other anything and everything and know that it would stay between them. The only difference was, she knew she wasn't in love with Alex.

_Bang._

The door. "Meredith!" she heard muffled from outside the bathroom. The sudden bang against the door pulled her sharply out of her stupor and she turned off the faucets quickly, getting out of the shower and wrapping a large towel around her body. She walked carefully over to the door, opening it to reveal a disheveled looking Izzie on the other side.

"Mer, I need to use your bathroom," she said quickly, pushing Meredith out the way. Meredith looked at her incredulously as she made herself at home in the bathroom.

"And you cant use yours?" she asked, holding the towel firmly around her body. Izzie pottered around underneath the sink.

"No, George is in there. I can't go in there if George is in there…" Izzie said with a look of deep anguish on her face. Meredith laughed lightly at Izzie's expression.

"Well, you used to walk in all the time when he was in the shower. So you're still not talking to each other?" she asked, sitting down on the bed behind her and looking through the bathroom door.

"No." Izzie sighed, emerging from the bathroom holding a heap of towels and moisturizing products as well as a toothbrush.

"Hey! That's my brand new toothbrush!" Meredith objected, trying to steal the toothbrush back from Izzie. Izzie walked away quickly.

"Desperate times, desperate measures, Mer. When you have a crisis, I can help you out," she said as she walked out the door, closing it behind her. Meredith heard a scuffle outside, guessing it was George emerging from the bathroom, she decided to stay away. She found it was best to stay out of the messed up 'Gizzie' relationship at all times, especially recently.

Meredith dressed quickly and went down to the kitchen to get coffee where George was sitting at the table looking lonely and sullen. He acknowledged her presence as she entered the room, but didn't bother to make small talk after that. Then she heard Izzie's footfalls on the stairs and they left together in silence. Looking at her watch, she decided she might as well go in to work early; maybe she could get some good patients.

The hospital was quiet this morning, with only four cases in the E.R. and she was asked to scrub in on a surgery with Erica Hahn. Of course, this managed to piss of Christina beyond the point of frustration and she didn't see her for the rest of the day. Finally, after filling in the O.R. notes, she made it to the cafeteria where she sat down with a large shot of espresso.

"Heard you scrubbed in on Hahn's surgery today," a voice from behind her sang calmly. She turned to see Derek standing behind her. He moved a chair to sit down at her table and gave her the 'McDreamy' look.

"Stop looking at me like that. I'm still pissed off with you about last night." Meredith said half-angrily, trying to keep the smirk off her face. Derek laughed inwardly, taking her hand.

"She's just a theatre nurse," he reasoned. Meredith looked away from him.

"I'm not ready, Derek." She said under her breath. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his expression drop and he let go of her hand. He didn't speak for a moment.

"Will you ever be ready, Meredith? Because I'm not sure I can just keep waiting. Not for the rest of _my_ life anyway." Derek said sadly, with a hint of frustration hidden in his calm voice. She looked sharply back at him.

"Then **why **are you still here?" Meredith shot at him, standing up and picking up her coffee. His vacant expression said more than his voice did and she left him sitting at the empty table, with many faces looking over before turning back to talk about what they'd just seen.

_She really, really needed an escape._


	3. Night Long Dreaming

Night Long Dreaming 

"Alex!" Meredith cursed, looking around the on call-room frantically. Alex smirked, pulling his scrub shirt back over his head. He found it amusing that she was wandering around the on-call room half naked, searching for her scrub shirt.

"You know, you could just walk out like that. No-one would complain," he laughed, discreetly slipping the corner of her scrub shirt in the side of his pants. Meredith stood up irritably and looked at him with her hands on her hips. He couldn't help but notice the look she gave him when she was incredibly pissed off with him, yet she still had that same desire in her eyes that drove him insane.

"Alex!" she called out, noticing his theft and reaching for her scrub shirt from his side, but he moved away quickly, catching her wrist and tackling her onto the bed. She laughed as he kissed her neck and shoulder. "You know, one of these days we're going to be caught."

"Mmm, I don't care. They know we're both whores, it wont make any difference to our reputations," he joked, moving to kiss her hard on the lips. She resisted and pushed him away, pulling her shirt from his pants and slipping it over her head.

"You _are _a whore," Meredith joked, smirking at him and picking up her pager from the floor. "Crap! I have to go," she said, making a desperate attempt to make herself look presentable before rushing out the door.

Alex laughed to himself, him too making himself look a little more presentable before neatening up the bed before leaving to tend to his rounds. He was walking to the second floor lifts when he heard someone call his name. He turned to see Lexie Grey following behind him.

"Alex…" she said softly, testing the ground between them. "Uh, how are you?" she asked timidly as they both entered the lift. He raised an eyebrow at her as the doors closed and they stood awkwardly in the lift.

"Lexie. You know I don't do this talking stuff," he said smugly, eyeing her carefully. She looked embarrassed and for a moment he felt sorry for her. After everything that was happening with Thatcher Grey, he actually felt incredibly… bad for both Meredith and Lexie.

"You talk to Meredith," Lexie murmured, looking up at him. The smirk was wiped from Alex's face faster than she'd expected. She must have seen him follow Meredith out of the on call room…

"Yeah that's different," he replied, trying not to seem too worried about what she had just mentioned. Lexie crossed her arms across her middle.

"Oh yeah? So there's nothing going on with you and my sister?" she asked. Alex laughed.

"It's funny, coz she said the exact same thing about you," he smiled. This amused Lexie slightly, and acting on impulse, she grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled his lips hard against hers in a fiery kiss.

'_Crap'_, he thought, those girls sure knew how to kiss. He stopped her, moving his lips slightly away from hers. "What are you doing?" he asked slyly. She looked innocently up at him.

"Come over tonight, and I'll show you," she replied just as huskily, pulling away from him and neatening herself just as the doors of the lift opened up again. They both parted their separate ways, a smile on each of their faces as they made their way back to rounds.


	4. Starting Over

Starting Over 

Being the most in-demand neuro-surgeon had its down sides according to Derek Shepard. It meant he couldn't be normal. He couldn't slack off at work. He couldn't slack off on rounds. He couldn't relax at night, and he certainly couldn't hold a _real _relationship for more than a few months. His current emotional situation was the most challenging. However, it wasn't the numerous surgeries he performed daily, or the complex analysis and long hours, that was easy. His challenge was taming Meredith Grey.

He loved her. He had always loved her. When he looked ahead ten years and imagined his life, she was the only person he could focus on; her gorgeous features and amazing smile. Everything about her made his heart swell and he couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

However, that obviously wasn't how she felt.

When he'd told her his dreams of being with her, _forever_, she looked shocked. Uneasy. Worried, and he knew that she wasn't ready. He didn't doubt her love for him, not for a moment, but her constant distance from him, especially recently made him feel frustrated.

He was ready for a proper relationship again, something Meredith obviously didn't want to move back into. At least not yet. But he couldn't help by wonder… would she ever be _truly_ ready?

Derek sat alone on the chairs of the main entrance with a large takeaway coffee. He was incredibly tired and hungry, but didn't feel he had the strength to make it to the cafeteria and get the late special. He had to perform a four-hour surgery and he was shattered, he wanted nothing more than to find Meredith, take her back to his trailer and sleep with her in his arms, but that didn't fall into the 'sex and mockery' phase she had entered. He hated the sex and mockery. I mean, he didn't hate _it_, but he wanted more from Meredith. A _lot_ more.

Maybe it was the age gap. But that had never come into it before… she was an up-and-coming surgeon, finding their way in the medical world; but he'd been there and done that and it was time for him to settle down. It's what he wanted.

"Derek," he heard someone call. He looked up to see Rose walking toward him. He forced a tired smile onto his face. She beamed back at him.

"So, I was wondering what you're doing tonight… because, I'm free," she said huskily, sitting down beside him. He looked down at his knees momentarily, before looking back up to her deep dark eyes.

"Actually, I have plans," he lied. He watched her expression drop suddenly. "But, uh, how about another time?" he added, suddenly feeling guilty about turning her down. She nodded, handing him a slip of paper.

"My home address. Door's always open," she smiled, getting up and throwing her bag over her shoulder before leaving the hospital. Derek stared at the piece of paper, before shoving it into his pocket quickly and getting up. He picked up his briefcase and walked out to his car.

He drove quickly, only one destination in mind. He secretly longed to be there, but he wouldn't tell Meredith that. He walked up the front porch of the house, tapping on the door quickly. He waited a moment, seeing a dark silhouette at the glass.

"You came," she said as she opened the door for him.

He nodded, smiling at the beautiful woman in front of him. She smiled back, leaning up against the doorframe. Her long hair blew gently in the breeze and her eyes glowed.

"I didn't think you would." Derek stepped closer to her, capturing her lips in a long slow kiss.

"I'll always come for you, Meredith," he said softly, breaking away from her. She sighed softly, stepping aside to allow him entry into the hall.

"Be quiet," she whispered as they walked up to her bedroom. "Everyone's sleeping,"


	5. Don't Know Why I Bothered

**Don't Know Why I Bothered**

* * *

"Grey, I expect you to be on call tonight," Bailey ordered, pushing two charts into her open arms. "I have three surgeries lined up for today, you may be called for one of them, but that's highly unlikely. I need these charts filled in, I've put the notes in I just need you to write them up, that shouldn't take you long. Get to it."

Meredith sighed, walking down the hall of the surgical floor. She quickly read the charts and made her way to room 405, where a woman was asleep. Meredith placed the chart on the table beside the bed and quickly flicked through it. The woman roused from her sleep and looked at her wearily.

"Who are you?" she asked croakily. Meredith looked up from the chart and smiled slightly.

"Mrs. Jones, my name's doctor Grey, I've been asked to come and see how you're doing, and to prep you for surgery," she added, looking down at the chart again.

"Doctor Shepard said I wouldn't need another surgery," Mrs. Jones murmured. "He said I was fine,"

"You were." A voice came from the door. Derek appeared, holding his stethoscope and a notebook in one hand. "But I'm afraid there's a small bleed on your brain that needs to be drained or you could have severe brain damage," he said sadly.

"Okay," Mrs. Jones said quietly, drawing her bedclothes over her body tightly. Meredith looked at Derek. His expression was simple, and cold.

"Doctor Grey, you'll be assisting with this surgery." Derek proclaimed, not looking at her before walking out of the room quickly. She found his behavior strange and excused herself from the room, running after him.

"What's the matter?" she asked, grabbing his arm to stop him. He looked down at her, his eyes glossy and vacant.

"Nothing's wrong, Meredith. Prep Mrs. Jones for surgery and I'll see you in O.R. two," Derek said dismissively, breaking away from Meredith's grasp and continuing on his way. _What the hell was wrong with him? _Meredith thought, walking back to Mrs. Jones' room silently.

"Time of death, 14.52" Derek sighed, putting down his scalpel, and going to scrub out. Meredith stood shocked, looking down at Mrs. Jones' lifeless body on the gurney. She'd died from an aneurysm, her blood had clotted behind the bleed, and the MRI hadn't picked it up. There was nothing they could do for her.

Meredith scrubbed out quickly and went to inform Mrs. Jones' husband who sat in the waiting room.

"I'm so sorry," she said, perfectly rehearsed. Mr. Jones thanked her for all she'd done, and walked sadly out of the hospital. Meredith turned and walked slowly back to O.R. two to find Derek.

She was so tired, and wanted nothing more than to go and find him, leave with him and sleep in his arms. But then she remembered, she was on call. _Fabulous _she thought, opening the door of O.R. two.

She immediately wished she hadn't.

Derek was there. Kissing some woman. She was outraged, feeling the anger build up inside her, which was immediately replaced with a cold, sinking feeling.

"What are you doing?" she said, her voice sounding nothing like her own. It was broken and barely audible. They broke away, and the woman turned to look at her. It was that theatre nurse, _Rose _or something. The one from the bar.

"Meredith…" Derek gasped, looking at her. She felt the hot tears well in her eyes. She turned, walking out of the room slowly, breaking into a run half way down the hall. She bumped into Christina on her way.

"Whoa, what happened?" she asked. Meredith didn't bother explaining, she just asked if Christina could take her on-call shift for tonight, mentioning that she was asked to assist on a surgery with Erica Hahn on cardio. Christina simply couldn't refuse.

Meredith changed and made her way home, falling hard onto her bed, allowing the tears to finally fall. He hadn't waited for her. She thought he loved her, she couldn't even imagine what her life would be like without him anymore.

"It's over," she whispered to herself, rolling over to stare out the open window. The sky was dark and cloudy, with no stars in sight. Soft rain began to fall, and she closed her eyes. The exhaustion and sadness finally winning her over, as she fell asleep.


End file.
